Tomorrow I travel 8 hours to Indianapolis for Ruby’s Bachelorette Party. I’m sick. And pretty miserable. I’ve been wanting to try the chai tea latte from starbucks. Josh just offered to walk to starbucks and get one for me even though its storming outside. He’s really the greatest thing. When I’m feeling sorry for myself he basically drowns me in love, which has to be hard on a person. It’s hard to love someone who isn’t feeling 100% mentally and physically. He’s really just the best.
In other news, I hope he doesn’t get struck by lightening. Because.. well, ouch.
Sometimes recovery is waking up early to write in coffee shops and practicing yoga and eating lots of fruit and chocolate and sometimes it’s staying in bed all day and hiding from the world until you can stop crying. All of this is ok. What’s important is that you take care of yourself no matter what kind of day you’re having.
I can’t decide if I want to be a nurse in home health, a doctors office, or telecommunications. I can’t decideeeeee. So many options with nursing. I guess I should figure out where we are moving next year first. Wattt to do?
My little (adorable) cousins have type I diabetes. They are trying to raise money to get the family a Diabetic Alert Dog. ACTUALLY, they would resuce a dog from the shelter, and then have him trained. This dog could potentially save their lives. These dogs are able to detect low blood sugar. Low blood sugar can cause many things blurred vision, dizziness, seizures, loss of consciousness, and even death. They’ve already had seizures in the middle of the night. They’re super sweet, fun, little boys. If you’d like to donate, go to the page, go to about, and there should be a link. Just consider it! :)
I am not emotionally equipped to handle people saying “thank you” at the end of phone conversations. Thank you implying, “thank you for taking time to call me”, that is. It kills me. Kills me. Without sounding super self whatever, quite frankly, I never feel like people care when I call them! Or at all, really. I just don’t. So when someone thanks me at the end of a conversation… I’ll tell you what I do. I cry. And cry and cry. And I can’t do it. I can’t handle such gratitude.
so my parents aren’t super happy with my decision to elope… I don’t know what to say. A big formal wedding ceremony isn’t really our style. They love Josh, so that’s good. I keep reminding them that they have another daughter who is OBSESSED with weddings. Start saving now for her wedding.
WARNING: Mushiness ahead, skip the first paragraph to get to the LESS mushy, more wedding part.
Our relationship is unlike many. We started at a young age. We were 11 years old when we first met. His group of friends (that he is still friends with today) would chase me and my friends around the playground and call us “blahs”. During class, Josh and I would discuss the latest episode of That 70s Show (little did we know that our obsession with television shows would turn into binge watching netflix and eating dinner in front of the tv together). We had different classes in 6th grade so we didn’t have much connection then. I like to call that “the lost year”. When 7th grade came around, he sat in front of me in math class, we had gym class together, and home ec. Oddly enough, I think I had a crush on the back of his head at that time. I told a few of my friends. The news spread like wildfire and the next day Josh knew. His friends didn’t believe it. They actually bet him that he couldn’t go out with me. So he asked me right after home ec, after we had finished making mesh backpacks, to be his girlfriend. I said “Sure”. A friend of mine said “I bet it doesn’t last 2 weeks”. I still have the note from her that says it. I should frame it, really. The relationship started off with him riding his bike to my house (a 5 minute bike ride). We rode bikes, watched Austin Powers movies, went to the Martin’s deli, looked at the horses behind his house, talked on the phone for a stupid amount of teenage hours. 3 months later he gave me my first kiss outside of our elementary school, under the lights, during my brother’s football practice. It was awkward and perfect. We were on our bikes facing each other. He kissed me, his bike fell, he caught it, my mom turned the corner in her car and I thought I was in trouble. Without being gross, he still smells the same way sometimes today. Sometimes we’ll kiss and I’ll say “I love that you just smell the same” I guess it’s just his stink haha Anyway, 8th grade came, and high school came. Those were some pretty rough years. We knew we loved each other enough and wanted to be together. That was for sure. But it was also a time of growing up, hormones, jealousy, insecurities, breaking up, getting back together the next day. If you asked any of my friends from that time they would say “Yeah, I don’t know what they were thinking”. When it was good, it was really good. When it was bad, it was really bad.We went through a lot in those years. I learned a lot about myself and I think our relationship. We’ve grown so much since then. I feel bad saying all of that because we had SO much fun in high school, going to concerts, traveling around (at least toward the end of high school), experiencing new things. So no, it wasn’t all bad. Anyway, college came and we were at an age where we felt like we were old enough to be living with each other but we didn’t necessarily want to disrespect our parents, however, we did. All of the time. Hiding the car or bike down the street and staying the night at each others house. Bad bad bad! We dediced to go for it. We got our own little $430/month apartment. Nothing fancy by any means but a place to call our own. We lived there for a year and a half and decided we wanted to travel to Europe for a month. We moved out of our apartment and back home to save money for that.
We then went to Europe. Everyone had already been asking “When are you getting married?” “I bet you’ll get married”! We didn’t get married. haha Which would have been a great time to do it, except everyone was anticipating it. Josh has said for a long time that he’s wanted to get married when no ones expecting it. When we got back home from Europe we moved back into the same EXACT apartment we moved out of. Stayed there for a year, and then when Josh got accepted to GSU, we packed our things and moved on over to Atlanta! We’ve been here a year now.
The marriage questions have come on so strong. It’s almost felt like I’ve been bullied. Josh too. We have felt married for a while. We’ve been “engaged” for a while. What is “being engaged” anyway? Look it up and you’ll see “having formally agreed to marry” And we can both agree that we did that quite some time ago. It wasn’t a question. It was common sense. What’s more is that it felt like we were already there. We felt married. So it felt pretty silly when people would ask, “When are you getting married?”. Without being shunned by everyone and without looks from everyone we would have liked to have said “WE ARE!” But people just don’t understand. SO… Here’s the good part. We decided to put the questions to an end and just go do it. We “legalized” what marriage we already had to get everyone off of our backs. We’re happy about it, I mean who doesn’t love tax benefits and insurance? haha We love each other, that hasn’t changed. I mean, love really doesn’t begin to come close to what I feel for him really. We are intertwined. While we are two different people, our lives, and a large part of us, are intertwined deeply. There’s no explanation. It is what it is. And anyone who has that going on, to me, is already married. All we did was get it legalized by the state. A lot of people have asked us if we feel different, the answer is no, not really. People are excited for us (the few that we’ve told so far) and of course, that makes us happy. I’m glad that people are happy too, it’s brought a lot of joy to our family members, and why not give them joy? Am I supposed to feel different? Am I supposed to feel somehow more in love? Am I supposed to feel closer? I don’t know. I think if it’s religious maybe. I think thats a huge key factor. If it’s a religious marriage, maybe you feel a new connection with God in your marriage. Now it’s not just you and your husband. It’s you, your husband, and God. That could be. And that’s totally fine! That’s something that I won’t necessarily have and I don’t exactly have the want, either. I have my own spiritual relationship that I want COMPLETELY separate from my relationship with Josh. It’s my own thing. Anyway, we decided that Friday was the perfect day to get married because I didn’t have to work and Josh didn’t have school or any other obligations.
Here’s how the day went: We woke up just a little earlier than normal, had our breakfast on the couch while watching some Netflix show about Cosmos or something. We then had to do Laundry and Groceries. So we took off and did that. We came back and put everything away, then showered and drove off to the courthouse. There were other people there waiting and other couples who had just been married, their family members attended. The judge came out, she said “We do 15 second marriages and we do 15 minute marriages. Is there anyone that wants a 15 second one?” Josh and I SHOT our hands up asap. I said, “Yes! We’re starving! We want to get out of here!” Everyone laughed. It was funny! But it was true. We both said, “I do”, asked the judge for a selfie. Everyone laughed again and people even photobombed! It was great quick fun with strangers. We got out of there and then spent our wedding day how we wanted it. We drove to a little italian store, bought sandwiches, then drove to the Atlanta Cupcake Factory, bought 2 cupcakes, put everything in a picnic basket and went to the park. We had a super cute picnic lunch. We then went home and broke the news to a few of our family members. We rested for a little bit. Josh made a fantastic dinner, then we went downtown to ride the Atlanta SkyView Ferris Wheel. I love lights and ferris wheels. It was awesomeeeee. We had free tickets and had been wanting to do it for a while. Anyway, that was our wedding day. It was simple. It was fast. It was just the two of us and it was fun. We may have a party when we get back home, just to celebrate a little. Who doesn’t love a party? It’ll be great. And if people start pressuring us to have a baby… I’m just moving to Iceland. Okay. Photos below.